I am not human at all

for I have failed being one

 

I am almost 19 and I don’t know how to walk

I don’t know how to cook
I don’t know how to smile
I don’t know how to pose in a picture
I don’t know how to greet someone
I don’t know how to talk
I don’t know how to read aloud
I don’t know how to swim
I don’t know how to keep my nails
I don’t know how to stand
I don’t know how to stop crying
I don’t know how to clean things
I don’t know how to treat a burn
I don’t know how to breathe
I don’t know how to look
I don’t know how to run
I don’t know how to whisper
I don’t know how to eat
I don’t know how to exist
I don’t know how to be
I don’t know how to have fun
I don’t know how to seize the day
I don’t know how to draw
I don’t know how to sing
I don’t know how to say no
I don’t know how to do normal things
I don’t know how to sleep
I don’t know how to wake up
I don’t know how to be well
I don’t know how to get there

It’s not even the fact that I don’t know, but the fact that I simply can not.

I wish I could walk, talk, breathe, eat, sleep, repeat.

I can’t.

And never will.

So why should I struggle with all these?

 

I don’t have to be

 

I’m not human at all